BY GEORGE K
Last week at the UN offices in New York world leaders were feasting in the guise of meetings, it was a big occasion for everyone interested in economics and world development aka networking.
The leaders were evaluating their own performance in regard to the eight Millennium challenges that they set in 2001 when they committed themselves to reducing human misery. The millennium challenges are set to expire 2015 bar a proverbial extension.
With the seriousness that attract precision skills of a seasoned photographer, the leaders in New York signed documents that committed them, individuals, corporations and business leaders to act passionately and reasonably with justice and generosity. Fighting poverty became a call; a duty, an industry, a guilt pleasure, gimmick, and Hollywood people took to the thing with the kind of passion that is espoused only by sports fans.
MDGs
Beginning with 2001 the reforms to tackle these challenges became a benchmark of respect among leaders across the globe. A Bangladeshi man that understood the economics of microfinance won a Nobel Prize and started a citizen bank.
Microfinance agencies and cooperatives then reappeared; some benefitted women exclusively and when the women started accessing the money they also taught about better home management skills. The women started being more trustworthy, more responsible, more important and more effective. The family was back.
With hindsight relevant reforms were undertaken to lay the foundation for a new world order; in Africa the leaders started the New Partnership for African Development-NEPAD-WHICH has since died and the African Peer Review mechanism, APRM.
People took these challenges very serious, not least of all the leader of my village. Mtupu circulated a document with a list of items that I was required to have in my house. He INFORMED me that the standing committee of the Akagari ka Kinamba behind Mhima had been presented with Imihigo.
The Mihigo would be a list of questionnaires that required information about the property in my house and the property in my head too. The results would be tabled in a league format and performances rated in percentages. At the end of the year the best district won a grand prize in the ceremonial Amahoro.
The Mihigo list also required me to give an account my average day and the information would be deduced in percentages not explanations and official statements. It also had a clause where my marginal propensity to participate in genocide ideology was determined.
Eliminating Genocide Ideology
In a related incident, As if the performance contracts were not enough, sometime in 2008 some crafty members of parliament visited a certain school in Gicumbi. They were horrified to find and report that one school was guilty of espousing genocide ideology by a whopping 97 percent.
The MPs aware of the challenges caucused and formed even more committees, draft reports and conferences; these led to the formation of the law against dirty ideologies. Mtuptu called them “Umwhukah mubbi,” in his list. The members were not satisfied with the laws; they also set up a commission appropriately named National Commission for the Fight Against Genocide.
Thankfully my village performed admirably in the reports of all Tureres, in no small part due to my having a radio, three garden chairs, cooking pans, a toilet, a bathroom and a good explanation about the nature and goal of my social and marital lifestyle.
But my neighbour was even better, he had a walled fence which was a requirement by city administrators.; even before the wall he had a nice hedge fence around his house and passersby never gazed in his courtyard.
The village won a prize and the local leaders also known as Bayobbozi organized a fete. All the homesteads in the cell were required to attend or be well represented; we had to make appearances that suggested the village was getting along quite well. And in case we were not doing quite well there was primus for the women and MUTZIG for men but that was only through the back door!
Virgins
It was always a good combination. We also took very good care of our children and ensured that they led responsible lifestyles early on; as a result we contributed our part in forming a national organization to encourage and promote virginity.
It is not clear whether the idea was from the church or the state though but the details withstanding; GLOVIMA promised a good reward and respect for being virgins and abstaining from sex until the wedding day.
I remember laughing off the whole thing, it was possible to abstain from sex but even the holy bible before Glovima did not add a wedding to the already tough requirements.
So at the party boiled corn was served and some crazy brew that tasted as if it was prepared by a middle aged guy high on marijuana and the brew. It was a nice sunny evening, children played about and women gossiped about each other as the men cursed there being no Mutzig at the party.
reporter
Being a reporter I have attended many events and can predict their itinerary the way insurance experts predict death; so I had carried my water bottle filled with the water, which I had fetched on the way to church earlier on in the morning. This is when I played my superman card and offered to share my water with the men who were not tied on the petty coat of the women that were not participants of the gossip circuit.
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