When Life Happens to George Kagame. 2002-2006

At university I was a student of journalism, but other than listening to Capital Gang on saturday mornings, I was always behind news and in fact I never considered myself talented in anything. At a time when my age mates knew their careers I was drifting about.


I cared more for my job at HotLoaf bakery as a sales assistant, climbing so high as a manager and other times so low as a tea boy. When I turned up for classes in the mornings I also occupied myself with wooing Anne. Journalism, what? Life was hard.

On top of the HotLoaf hustle I also vended Club Silk Royale complimentary tickets for their Campus Night every Tuesday of the week.
Beer on such days was usually free. Facilitating a bonanza of students and free beer was not a good idea.

Many a day we joined for lunch at a place known as 'Blues' just opposite the famous Flying Rhino in the core of Kansanga. This pub was popular with Tanzanians. Next to Rhino was the even more famous AL's Bar sharing space with Half London.
One time I was having lunch at blues with Roy, Brian, Enoc and Biko in what was known as the problem table. On some days we had the pleasure to host Benice and Nahid on this table.

We called it a problem table. We had problems with our rooms and how poor they looked. We had girl/boy troubles, body image trouble, money troubles and some of us showered from bathrooms that were nicknamed 'passport size'. The length of the bathroom walls covered you up to the belly button.

The rest of the body facewards was in the open, you could have a conversation with somebody on the street while you showered.
It was as if one was posing for a passport size photograph.






At the university newspaper there was such shortage of writers that the editors created a mysterious character named Zorro. Zorro was cool. He simply solved all major problems in the university community, from dating tips to blind dates.
Zorro was the kind of guy you meet in Catcher in the Rye.

He gave advise about dating, and not just any dating. Zorro advised and encouraged all straight male students to date the reigning beauty queen of the university, a Kenyan belle known as Carol Wanza. Carol was also a cool name, Assenga had a girlfriend known as Carol. The Tanzanian Carol was just like a movie plot, even she never quite figured out what was 'next scene'. She had a very beautiful curvy stout body, just like a little gem stone. A sort of World Cup.



Zorro like many other cool people were unanimous in their agreement that Kenyans were a rowdy bunch and they came in all shapes and sizes. There were the Somali Kenyans like Li, the coastal people like Saidah Omar Kaseko's one time girlfriend , Nairobi urbanites like Francis and Brian. They also had the regular Wanjirus and Ougos.

The Ugandans joked that Only a nosy and strong headed woman like Carol would handle their kind. Carol was a beauty in journalism school. She was smitten by Biko and she had Beautiful eyes with some wit. She dated a Kenyan heartthrob that was so organized he was studying Clinical Psychology. How is that for cool!


Assenga had all the vibe. At his hostel one found good music, deliciously home made meals and beer. I smoked my first joint while at University inside Assenga's room. Assenga was blessed with a fortune of excellent hostels, at Kings&Queens he lived with the classy Brian and crew. A group of seemingly privileged guys from Nairobi that included Andrew, Solo, Francis, Marion, Amina and many more.

Nobody however was as smooth as Marion. The Kenyan soft spoken girl was so beautiful one would enjoy her company in all circumstances. With her beauty and elegance she would have even the most powerful men in Kampala answer her whims, but Marion unlike other beautiful girls at the time was humble. She hanged out with the broke guys just as much as she did with the privileged boys.


you could get drunk with marion and be as whipped as anything, yet you could never develop silly ideas with her, she always said in a matter of fact response to all the men that got drunk with her-which was very frequent-"You are a good Friend, you can make a very poor boyfriend and an even uglier one night stand."

Marion was simply in your face. You had to like her. She kept you hoping against common sense that you had a chance with her, and yet NEVER gave any hints.
She was so beautiful that one had to be stubborn to ignore her face..and she never took advantage of her beauty as many popular girls of the time. And I write this not because I ever tried to date her but because I observed her just as much as every other guy I knew was watching her. A few made bold moves were never really successful.

Clearly I needed some editing above, Yeah, I will do better next time. Thank you..



ROy WAS so full of surprise that he won a biblical knowledge competition on Power Fm, boasting that he had made his first million in record time. The competition tested participants in their grasp of the bible. Roy would was the authority on promotions and discounts in the city. if one had a crush date the guy to ask for venue ideas was roy.




And yet none of us would ever beat Jackson Biko. other than participating in the religious competition on power fm Somehow, Biko got to meet and know a certain radio presenter on one of the most campus FM stations in Kampala. Their friendship ensured that many a day, friendship with Biko was an insurance policy in fighting poverty. Biko created an industry that involved the use of mobile phones, and got many of us to answer quiz questions where we won cash prizes.

The trick was learning to sound as a different person every other day of the week. and yet this is strange because Biko was not so smart anyway. at least to the level of knowing the answers to all the questions on radio between 9 am to 12pm.


He did not know much about the world really. Politics simply bored him, sport was overrated. I do not remember Biko ever having or talked about sport. He knew his talent was writing about man's less serious things. WE CALLED it Fleecing the audience.