When i just reached-and i was always asked my experience about the place-i would always respond i love it-indeed i loved Canada every inch-then i would also add "the people are extremely friendly and helpful" to which whomever asked the question would respond with disbelief. At first i never recognized the facial expression but later when i had a conversation with one of the senior journalists at the newspaper i worked it made perfect sense.
The lady journalist told me quote, " i don't think we are kind, we are just very polite. If you asked me a question i will answer you back as briefly as i can. This is much different from lets say Americans who will want to learn from you, ask you more about your place and tell you about themselves. They are more outgoing and welcoming even if their attitudes is most times misinterpreted. Well as we Canadians, we only answer back. We never talk to people."
It is probably because of that that "Thank you" and am sorry" are the two most spoken words in Canada according to a Nigerian acquitance.
That weekend i met a Nigerian youth born and bred in New York and studying in University of Toronto, he told me that Canadians are polite as a people and as a country, they keep to themselves should there be a stranger in their midst who might need directions they will not 'talk to you if you don't ask for their assistance.
This was a reawakening and a revelation, the Canadians i had met so far were extremely helpful and resourceful people, in fact more helpful than my fellow Rwandans i met in Ottawa.
When i arrived in Ottawa i was received by a university, he offered me a winter coat, gloves and walked me around to get used to the winter.On the other hand fellow Rwandans i met and with whom i would share a house for four days never offered any help as you would offer to a new arrival from you home country. It was only Collin Habba who in one case offered to take me and Fred to Lunch at Carleton and give a few insights into Canadian life. So leaving strangers to their own devices is not an entirely Canadian exclusive after all.
Still in Ottawa i reunited with two old comrades in David Kawai and Gary Dimmorck from the Ottawa Citizen, with these two men we had a long catch up to and catch up did we at Hearts and Crown a down town bar in Ottawa.
When i arrived in Toronto, i was received by John, who by many aspects is one of the best guys to hang around with. He gave me a map, another winter coat and introduced me to Emily whose vast computer knowledge would be very helpful to me forever. I also had a chance to have a first real birthday celebration in Toronto and i still keep the balloons in my room.
Any stranger needs to know how to get by in a new place and it is very helpful to find some old friends in a huge city like Toronto, in my case it was John, Debra and Drew.
From this experience i now know how difficult it is for tourists that come to African cities-with the added misfortune of dealing with crafty and hustling business people on top of many false friends.
There are no may maps in our cities postal addresses are left only senior government and NGO people as well offices here the city maps are everywhere while everyone has a post office box from which they are normally contacted by banks, employers, taxi drivers-for easy directions. So even if you get lost, if you know your post address someone can easily direct you. Compare that to my two neighbourhoods in Kigali and Kampala. When am directing people to m house i always tell them to stop where there's a big movie theatre in the case of Kigali and a catholic church in case of Kampala-and am an established journalist.
In Canada, the identity of an individual is determined by his physical addresses and in most case date of birth well as where where i come from it is the tribe and religion, here it is very common to be asked to present your identity papers when you are entering a night club or bar and in one case a security agent of the bar identified one man as having drunk much and asked him not to buy any more beers, the order circulated to the counter as well.
Kind Canadians? polite or "we don't wan to be responsible for any fuck ups'
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